Endo 365
Do not fear this is not
going to be some ‘Give-us-all-your-blood-because- we-are-about-to
emotionally-manipulate-you’ radio advert (they get me every time).
No no, this is all about
small miracles and having incentives (or carrots) to pedal towards.
Not following the link?
Understandable, let me explain.
Following my first
operation (when I got my diagnosis) I felt a very strong duty to aid the health
service in whichever civilian way I could- mainly for all the little dots who
were seriously ill around me and practically lived there, on our ward.
The very fact that a child
born without arteries leading back to his heart, gets a free and comprehensive
health care allowing him to live until his twenties instead of days is just the
most incredible thing. This probably won’t come as a surprise to you, but every
so often (usually when I am on a long drive) I end up having a real think about
the National Health Service as an institution that serves our country, and I cry. We are so so lucky to be born into a country with the facility for free point
of care health service. And I know I can be one of the first people to moan
about the NHS and its insufficiency’s, but in its essence, it is brilliant:
think about how different ‘Breaking Bad’ would be if it were set over here… just
sayin’… we are so lucky to live in a society where a constitution exists with
the 7th best health care in the world (above many privet health care nations)
where we need not worry about being hit with a huge bill on top of the trauma
resulting in us going to hospital, is such a privilege.
I have family in America and it genuinely
astounds them that we do not have to pay (I know we do indirectly through
taxes) for medical attention. If, like me, you have always lived in England and
you have, like me, been socially conditioned into thinking how inefficient the
NHS can be, just for a second, take a step back and actually think about what
the NHS actually is.
So, at times I get romantic
about the NHS as a socialist haven.
I think that it is because
of this that I have always felt it imperative to give blood and do
whatever small ripple I can, for something at such little cost to our wellbeing
can save another person’s life.
That to me is a no brainer.
However, I have never been
allowed to give blood (like many people with endo) because in the time I have
been old enough to give blood, my health or medication has not allowed for it.
And that made me miserable and felt like rubbing more salt in the wound. I have
either been too anaemic or fatigued or on too much medication or post opp’s.
So, for me, the simple,
normal, every-woman-every-man task of giving blood has been very high on my
agenda and conscience for the last three years. It was something to work
toward; something of great weight and importance to me. For me, it is on the
same agenda as establishing my business or picking the right university or
running a half marathon, even though giving blood is considered an everyday
thing.
Except because of my story,
history, context, it is so much of a greater thing.
So on the Monday before my
birthday I gave blood and it was just so perfectly liberating.
And (probablymaybe because
of the whoremoans) I cried. It felt like a victory, a real win. I wouldn’t have
been able to do this without my operation because I still would be have been on
GNrH.
Endometriosis (or anything
you have to battle in life) can short-term limit us, and unfortunately even
long-term sometimes. I do not think I would be half as motivated or
positive if I didn’t have anything to strive towards or feel proud for having overcome
and still achieved. Having fixed goals pioneers focus, having goals
inspires motivation, having goals creates discipline, having goals builds and
sustains a strong, healthy mind. It quantifies and measures the everyday things
we achieve without even realizing what a big deal it was to get up and go to
word when you don’t feel like it.
As I stated in my previous
blog, endo can induce an helpless, endless frustration because it isn’t like
breaking your leg. You can’t take it easy for 4 months and then in a years time
you forgot that you even did it. I will feel the repercussions from my
endometriosis for the rest of my life because it has sensitized my bowels to
about 40 different foods. However by setting goals, the endless nature becomes
more manageable.
Set some time aside and get
an A3 sheet and loads of coloured pens and just get it all down, then order it
realistically. It doesn’t matter whether the goal is climbing Mount Everest or
something simple but a sign of achievement to you like attending a full week at
school or work, explaining to three people in one day about your endometriosis,
or just giving blood.
Once you have your short-term
goals nailed, think long term. If you have read other blogs you may know I hate
wasted time, having a little list of goals ensures if there is an opportunity,
I always have something productive to do or work towards. During recovery I
even had things as futile as making a scrapbook from traveling on my list.
But it gave me focus and structure. So it doesn’t matter what it is really. It
is also very empowering, you are saving yourself piece at a time and not
surrendering to the pain.
“Success is not necessarily doing
big things. It can be doing little things in a great way.
Set achievable, yet desirable
goals and make yourself proud.
Be smart and be brave,
AL XXXX
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